Saturday, 5 March 2016

Tears Are Warm

Tears are warm. But they fall nicely as a welcome against your scorching cheeks. Your eyes wish only to cool the warmth of sadness that causes blood to rush so forcefully to your face.

Hands are cold. Hands get clammy. They hurt in the middle, your pulse gyrates. Your heart beats with consistency of a gallop, and you just want to stop. You'd like to stop feeling so much. You'd like to wake up with the same vigor that's in your bones, in your soul. You're not sure what feeling exactly you'd like to stop, because a part of you loves the fact that you're feeling.

But you're tired. So, very tired.

You often have bouts of feeling, much like a flu. You never quite wake up with the warmth of tears or blushed cheeks on most mornings. Often you wake up with a gentle sea breeze. You're not happy, but you're not sad. Which usually means, you're still a little sad. You're not feeling right now, and you hate it. But then you start to feel and you get overwhelmed, but you're also scared. Petrified.

You're introverted. Telling your feelings to people you aren't extremely close to doesn't come easy. It's simply not your nature and you hate yourself for it. The regret of the one, two, three, four and five that you let slip away might not ever leave you. You allow things to cut deep and then you heal slow. You take it each minute at a time, and let the salt sit in your wound.

Feelings are lukewarm. It's hard to enjoy emotion a lot of the time, because they're hard to understand. Wrap your head around the fact that someone has made you feel. They have made chemicals in your brains do things beyond your control and now you're left to sort them out. That's what it is to feel.

Souls can adapt. Souls are very quick to feel cold in the cold and warm in the warm. A lot like denim. Souls are very much like denim. When you've walked out on a cold day with a denim jacket, it grabs the cold and holds it to your body. It's almost as if inside your denim is colder than the rest of the outside world. Sometimes it seems like a soul may be hurting more than the blow it took. But you don't know. I don't know, either.

But, the sun is warm as well. It will always remain warm and will always shine outside for you to find. Lay in the sun.


  1. Wow, this is just amazing. I can't even begin to tell you how apt this post is. It's in part I guess how most of us feel, but you wrote in such a way that I've fallen in love with it. I like how you said you're not sure what feeling you'd like to stop. I guess we don't entirely want to stop the feeling because when and if we do we're scared whatever it is that is causing us the way we feel will be over.

    -Kathie K
    A Sea Change

  2. I love this post so much that I just had to quote parts of it in my diary. Paragraph five was especially remarkable. Sometimes I think it would be easier for all of us if we had less emotion, but then people like you wouldn't be able to write pieces like this.

    The Life of Little Me

  3. I felt so much while reading this. I can relate. You are an amazing writer. :)
    Olive Needs Popeye

  4. Woah Leli, beautiful writting! I can relate to that. I've missed reading your blog! Thanks for your comment :)

  5. It's like you're speaking to me. I can relate to this 100% to be honest. This is so beautiful, I love. Thank you for your comment. xx
    PS: I'm your newest follower.