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Saturday, 19 March 2016

An Open Letter: Hey, Little Black Girl



You live in a world where extra melanin comes with a heavy price. Your black skin, thick hair, broad nose and full lips are expensive, baby. But I'm excited for you to experience it. Let me tell you what blackness is.

It's the colour of your skin. It's going to separate you from bigots, but unite you with love. True, indescribable love so deep within yourself-- your bones burn with sensation too. 

It's our food. Blackness is united all across the globe, though we're not all the same. We were born Jamaican, and that is part of our blackness. Ackee, fried dumpling, East Indian Mangoes, coconutes and the beach. 

Your speech. Some people that grow straight hair from their scalps and seem to constantly be asking you a question, are going to love it. They're going to make fun of you, but that's just because they're insecure. They were embarrassed of their own parents accents once upon a time, and they project. It's a thing that hurt people do.

Here's what we can't let happen.  

Don't ever lose your culture in this world. Your blackness, is so much more than the colour of your skin. It can be everything you are if you want it to be. Don't lose your culture, your language, your reggae music. Don't let this society drain you of the hood you bring.

Don't let them scare you. They're going to. Sometimes you're going to feel like a carcass amongst vultures.

Don't let them ignore you. 

Being you isn't going to seem fair. Having to work so much harder, better and louder for the same attention is going to weigh down on you. Having to constantly worry if people's attitudes towards you are racially based is going to tire you out.  Feeling your work isn't recognized will hurt. Being scared to say too much will frustrate you. 

But little black girl, you have a mission. To work, prosper, live and smile in a way that makes the next little black girl's experience easier. Every time you smile in the face of adversity, you remind another piece of coal that pressure only makes us diamonds. 

Saturday, 5 March 2016

Tears Are Warm



Tears are warm. But they fall nicely as a welcome against your scorching cheeks. Your eyes wish only to cool the warmth of sadness that causes blood to rush so forcefully to your face.

Hands are cold. Hands get clammy. They hurt in the middle, your pulse gyrates. Your heart beats with consistency of a gallop, and you just want to stop. You'd like to stop feeling so much. You'd like to wake up with the same vigor that's in your bones, in your soul. You're not sure what feeling exactly you'd like to stop, because a part of you loves the fact that you're feeling.

But you're tired. So, very tired.

You often have bouts of feeling, much like a flu. You never quite wake up with the warmth of tears or blushed cheeks on most mornings. Often you wake up with a gentle sea breeze. You're not happy, but you're not sad. Which usually means, you're still a little sad. You're not feeling right now, and you hate it. But then you start to feel and you get overwhelmed, but you're also scared. Petrified.

You're introverted. Telling your feelings to people you aren't extremely close to doesn't come easy. It's simply not your nature and you hate yourself for it. The regret of the one, two, three, four and five that you let slip away might not ever leave you. You allow things to cut deep and then you heal slow. You take it each minute at a time, and let the salt sit in your wound.

Feelings are lukewarm. It's hard to enjoy emotion a lot of the time, because they're hard to understand. Wrap your head around the fact that someone has made you feel. They have made chemicals in your brains do things beyond your control and now you're left to sort them out. That's what it is to feel.

Souls can adapt. Souls are very quick to feel cold in the cold and warm in the warm. A lot like denim. Souls are very much like denim. When you've walked out on a cold day with a denim jacket, it grabs the cold and holds it to your body. It's almost as if inside your denim is colder than the rest of the outside world. Sometimes it seems like a soul may be hurting more than the blow it took. But you don't know. I don't know, either.

But, the sun is warm as well. It will always remain warm and will always shine outside for you to find. Lay in the sun.