Wednesday, 7 May 2014

Blogging and Inspiration.

I lay in the middle of the a large field, a sky overcast full to bursting yelling down on me. I stared at it, waiting for it's mighty waters to fall upon me, and fell to my knees in a sea of dandelions. I looked desperately for the sun in the clouds, where it was nowhere to be found. With three deep breaths, I fell back onto the grass content.
To imagine blogging as an empty meadow where you're on your own, brings such bliss back to doing it. There's no one to please, no standard to tell yourself to meet, no one to create for but yourself. Doing out of love, creating out of love and not stress or angst. Just love.

An ever present and consistently baffling aspect of human nature is our endless concerns for other's perceptions of us. These could be of the ones we know, and care for or the snap judgements of a complete stranger to whom we've unconsciously worked tirelessly to please. How many things have we said and done, or more accurately avoided saying and doing over our everlasting concern of other people's misjudgements.

I don't know if what I've been experiencing the last few weeks is as much writer's block as a lack of passion for blogging. The fire in me was subdued for a period of time, and I think I've finally come to the conclusion why. I wasn't inspired anymore, because I wouldn't let myself be. They say comparison is the thief of joy, but it quickly turned into the thief of my fire. I had to very much reflect on myself, what I intend to do and what I want to do. I was, and still am, constantly comparing myself to others as if there is such a thing as "good" and "bad" and they aren't just fish in a sea of grey.
Proclaiming my self the most talented person I know would not only be arrogant, but a bold faced lie. I'm not, but I am the only me I know. I am the only person I know who thinks, and articulates that way I do. This isn't unique to me. Everything is expressed uniquely by that person, and unlike anyone else. Such is the beauty of uniqueness.
I worried about how other's perceived what I did. I worried about the judgements of friends and family who have found this space, and the complete strangers that stumble across it everyday. I worried about the snap judgements of the talented who may stumble across this space and collectively come together to laugh at my inadequate attempts at being a "writer".
I fell into a despair of worry. A lot of worry.

But I've come to realize doing what you love isn't a glorious path. It's a street riddled with pot holes, self doubt, traffic and obnoxious people. But because it's your love, it's worth the tears. Every single one.

Love is not a victory march. It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah.



  1. That quote at the end was absolutely perfect. Also, just yes to everything that you have written. :)

  2. I struggled with this on and off over the years with my own blog.
    Just continue to do what you love for yourself, and if that's writing then write your little heart out!

  3. That line at the end is what got it for me. I love that song so much it brings tears to my eyes every time. This was wonderful.

  4. Wow, you should try and be more optimistic

  5. Don't worry, your writing actually took me by surprise its so good! And I'm not flattering you or anything, honest.

  6. Your wording is beautiful my dear, you have such a talent with words. Write whatever you feel like writing, don't worry about what others will think about you. I've faced the same feeling while writing my novel. The fear of what others would think of me was like a huge self destructing weight inside my chest. I wanted my writing to be flawless, and it was in that mindset that I truly couldn't recover and grow as a writer.
    Don't let anyone tell you that what you think is wrong, or not enough. You have such a real talent. Hold onto that!
    If you ever have time, check out this blog post:
    It dealt with the same issue you're going through.
    Best of luck!

  7. I think this is something we all struggle with at one point or another; some more than others. For me personally, this is a constant battle. Comparing yourself to others seems like such a stupid thing to do, and yet, it's almost unavoidable. But as much as it can be destructive, it can also be inspirational - you just need to learn to use it well :)

  8. Leah, this is the absolute best. So honest and raw.

    Blogging is indeed about you. Only you! and I don't mean that in a selfish way but this platform was designed for people to express themselves freely in a way that is comfortable for them. I find that as soon as bloggers steer away from themselves and start to do what society expects them do, their blog suffers. Taking time to recoup and remember why you began your blog in the first place is always crucial for me when it comes to my blog. I blog for me and if others are willing to follow along then goodness I feel blessed, but my blog would be just as satisfying without them.

    Thinking of you hun! I have been loving your blog so far. Your writing is wonderful xx

  9. I feel the exact same way. I always worry about what other people will think about my writing too. But then I told myself the same thing you did. There is no other me and no one else is doing what I am. And if I don't do what I'm doing, then who will?

    Wonderful post!

    -Nymisha ♦

  10. How on earth did I not find your blog earlier - you offer such a genuine opinion on everything and anything. You speak about real things that matter, and I'm glad you do. You're exactly what we need more of. And Leah, if you find a passion you truly love it will indeed be true to you. I'm just here to let you know you should always put yourself first in blogging, because it's your own blog and you can never be the best you can if it's not you. (Don't think that made sense but I hope you get the gist!)

  11. I know it's worth it but it just hurts so damn much. Why isn't life ever easy?

    / Avy

  12. Loved your writing style, the last line was the icing on a beautiful cake.

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  14. Hi Leah, you are sooo good at writing! You shouldn't be scared of other people's judgments. I really wish I was as good as you at writing.. but since English isn't my mother language I struggle a little bit. Keep writing for yourself, not for others. And the last lines are just perfect. xx Elisa